Everybody's coming to get me.
I don't know why it is, but I always think that everything is always all about me (and really, what isn't?). Could I get any more egotistical?
Today, while walking Guido, the new woman on the bottom floor has a little fence that goes from her sliding glass door, all the way to the sidewalk. Now, it's totally possible that the LawnMen put it there to protect their new sod. But, I, of course, assume this is a personal attack against myself and my dog. Said neighbor is obviously irritated that I let Guido dash across her lawn in an attempt to get to his favorite peeing tree ASAP, and constructed a little white fence. None of the other yards have fences. Now there will be awkwardness in the evening when everyone is outside walking their dogs.
Yesterday, my mother and I were on the phone. She says "I ran into Mrs. Victor the other day." After the usual how is she, what is she up to, yadda yadda, i ask "Did she ask about me?"
Now, the average person would take this at face value. But I, in my vain little mind, swear up and down that she did in fact talk about me. And said not nice things. Afterall, i DID cut her from the Wedding Guest list when the list grew out of control. My mother must have just been trying to protect my feelings.
Just say you never met me.