Thursday, April 21, 2005

Here comes the story of the Hurricane

Today is one of those dreary dark outside days. It's not really raining, just spitting a little. But it's dark. I hate having to turn lights on at 1 in the afternoon.

I'm having a strange out of my body day today. Maybe it's because I slept last night. Last night was the first night in months that I curled up in bed, and fell asleep without the anxious nausea creeping out of my belly and into my chest. It was the first night I fell asleep without my fingernails digging into the palm of my hands. It was the first night I stayed asleep the whole night, without violent empty dreams ripping me out of sleep. It was the first night in a long time.

For the longest time I felt swept up in this hurricane. Not really going anywhere, just spiraling down closer and closer into center. And the center is where all hell breaks loose.

Maybe this is it, you know? Maybe the worst is over, and I've dealt with whatever it is that's causing all of that. Maybe I can finally start dragging myself back up after sliding down for so long.

Maybe this is just the eye of the storm.

1 comment:

lauren e said...

perhaps it's time for the bad days to start lessening and the good days to start increasing...

perhapsh, yesh, yesh....

we'll pull out of this victorious. girls always win. ;)