Tuesday, November 29, 2005

To the BatCave, part deux

Originally uploaded by lilmissimpatient.
Meet Merv.

Merv is our bat. We found him poking his head out of the wall when we returned home from Thanksgiving. He's been here since at least Sunday, sleeping in our wall/ceiling. Every once in a while we'd hear his little bat cries and rustle of wings. He's cute, in a winged rabies carrying rodent kind of way.

He came out tonight, and after a quick jaunt around the house, made himself at home on the centrail air vent in the dining room.

Evan, being the super brave husband that he is, poked Merv with a broom, and promptly set him off on a crooked haphazard flight around the house.

He eventually grew tired of the us-chasing-him-with-a-broom-while-cloaked-in-blankets-game, and flew out the front door.

This winter, we'll construct a bathouse, so Merv can have his own home, and we won't have to share ours.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

'Cause I'm a P.I.M.P.

Even my blog is worth something.

My blog is worth $2,258.16.
How much is your blog worth?

Monday, November 21, 2005

I want... (Part II)

...A roastbeef sub with fresh mozzerella and extra mayo
...To cross my legs without my hips popping
...To wear pants with zippers and buttons
...To bend at the waist
...My esophagus back
...To sleep on my belly
...Brie, Blue Cheese and Prosciutto
...Fresh Apple Cider
...To take a really hot, really relaxing bath
...A rare steak
...To sleep the whole night without getting up to pee at 1:30, 3, 6, and 8
...To go a day without chomping down 487 Tums Extra Strength
...A cigarette
...A joint
...A glass or ten of good red wine
...To strut around in heels without tottering like a Weeble
...A real Caesar salad
...It to be May

Thursday, November 17, 2005

'Cause nothin' lasts forever...

This is a sad month for me.

It's a sad time of year, actually. It doesn't really pick back up until after Christmas. I've found, through the years, that there isn't much I can do to alleviate the pain...Just ride it out through the waves.

It stormed yesterday - a slow brewing storm that started with a warm wind and sun, and very slowly deteriorated, but all the while, even when the day was nice, the rumbling thunder was in the distance, loud enough to remind me that there was, in fact, a very bitter storm headed my way. The clouds blew in, light at first, getting darker and darker, until the thunderhead was on top of me, looming. The wind turned cold, whipping the leaves off of the trees and swirling them through the air. When the rain came, it was cold, and small. Just angry clouds, spitting angry hard drops that turned into large splats are the rain grew angrier, eventually assaulting the ground with rivers of water, gurgling down the gutters and streets.

But this morning it's clear. Crisp and clear. A bright blue cloudless sky, with bright sunshine. The wind is still here, though. It's still punishing the yellow and orange leaves, dropping them to the ground. But today they don't fly. They don't whirlwind through the air, spinning and flipping, they just drop to the saturated ground, soggy and defeated. The leaves from yesterday all lay where they fell, too tired, cold and damp to raise up in the wind. The sky may not remember the storms, but I do.

And so it goes. The fall is really upon us. The windows are shut to keep out the cold, but it still seeps in. There was a time, a long while ago, that I loved the fall. I loved the crisp air, the crunch of the acorns, the sticky sweet smell of the decay of summer. Fall always seemed like a time for new beginnings, new opportunities. The old mmakes room for the spring new comers. But that seems like a long forgotten memory now. I can't really focus on what times then were like. It's like trying to look at my reflection through a fogged up mirror. I know it's there, because it's always been there before, but I can't see it - I don't know exactly where it is, or what it looks like.

But it won't be long now before the trees give up the last of their leaves and the icy rains turn into a slow falling graceful snow, that temporarily blankets what used to be. It will make our footsteps sink into the white, so even when we can't remember who we are, we can still see where we've been.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005


The state of Virginia thinks that the winning lottery numbers were:

02 04 05 40 48 07

However, dear readers, this is in correct. The real winning numbers are actually:

15 16 21 22 47 40

I know this, because, like I said before, I have the winning ticket. I'm sure the lottery people will be calling with their apology any moment now.


Monday, November 14, 2005

Just to give you the heads up...

I'm going to be a bajillionaire.

Really soon.

Like Tuesday.

Because you see, kids, I'm going to win the mega-millions lottery. Yes, you heard me correctly. I am going to WIN. With the ticket I haven't purchased yet.

And then, I'm going to buy a plethora of useless things. Two of some, but in different colors. And one pair of every shoes that Jimmy Choo has ever designed. EVER.

And don't worry, faithful blog readers, I won't forget about you when I win. I'm generous like that.

If I was a rich girl....All day long I'd bittbittybum...If I was a wealthy girl...

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Election Day

Vote Early

Vote Often

Vote Democrat :)

Thursday, November 03, 2005

My Rant To The World

And dissertation on why I hate everyone:

It seems I am surrounded by stupidity, arrogance, obscene self-centeredness (Yes, it's a word, because it's my blog and I said so), and utter incompetence. The aforementioned conditions does not a happy Saki make. The simple act of going to the grocery store, or bank has begun to cause my head to throb at the mere thought.

Why can't people just be normal and kind? I must have missed the memo about the whole "Do unto others" thing being changed to "Fuck everyone else. Only you matter, highness." I try to have patience, but I can't help but shake my head as the man in front of me at the checkout berates the teenaged cashier because the register didn't take off the twenty cents he was entitled to, reducing her to sniffles. On the way out of the parking lot, he nearly ran over an elderly man who was clearly in the pedestrian right of way crosswalk. I wonder what meeting/event/tryst/nap was so important that he showed that much blatant disregard for other people.

But you know, I could handle it if it was only him - or someone like him - once a day, every other day, etc. But it's becoming more and more common, and now when I go out, an encounter with a pleasant person is a rarity, and after said encounter, I feel obligated to tell other people "You wouldn't believe the nice person I talked to today at the bookstore..."

Lauren's idea of becoming a hermit with my knitting is sounding more and more appealing.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

The answer

Well, there are two ways to punctuate the sentence "Woman without her man is nothing."

The first, and probably the one that most of us jump to is:
Woman, without her man, is nothing.

However, the very clever and far better response is:
Woman: Without her, man is nothing.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Shortest Personality Test Ever

Punctuate the following sentence:

"woman without her man is nothing"

Answers tomorrow :)