In My Daughters Eyes

On Sunday, we were driving home from my mother-in-law's house, and since we were within 45 miles of it, I made Evan stop in Hoboken for a slice of Gio's Pizza, and a sandwich from Vito's Deli.  

Since there has not been an open parking spot in Hoboken since 1947, we double parked in front of the deli, and Evan ran in to pick up our sandwiches.  It had been a while since we've been there, and a little (somewhat trashy) lingerie shop opened up a few doors down, and we were conveniently parked right in front of their giant windows.  

I spent most of the time convincing Cecilia that Hoboken was not, in fact, Sesame Street, despite her protests of how much the big brownstones looked like Sesame Street and Hooper's Store.  The abundance of pigeons, which she dubbed "Like Burt's Bernice!" didn't help my case, either.

But I digress.  After I finally convinced her that we were only in Hoboken, the backseat grew quiet.

Suddenly she piped up loudly, pointing out her window:

"Look Mommy!  It's like you!  It's like you in that store!  There you are!  In red!  Mommy!  There you are!!"

Much to my amusement and chagrin, my three year old was pointing to a mannequin in the window of the lingerie shop, who happened to be wearing a hooker red sparkly baby doll nightie, and sporting a bleach blonde wig with blunt cut bangs:

Well, if that isn't a dead ringer for me, I don't know what is.  

How to Save a Life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

It's that time of year again, everyone.  The National Bone Marrow Registry is doing their annual sign up drive!  There is usually a $100 fee for signing up, as the bio-typing is quite costly, but now through June 22nd, 2009, the fee is waived, and you can save a life for free!

Most of you know, my mom was diagnosed with end of life stage leukemia.  Her body was shutting down, her white cellcount was over 600,000.

It is because of donated bone marrow that she is alive today.  To see me get married, to see my children born, to see my sister graduate high school and then college, all because of a bone marrow donor.

The typing is easy, you guys.  They will mail you 4 giant Q-Tips.  Stick 'em in your mouth, swish a bit, then put them in the pre-paid envelope that came with it, stick it in your mailbox, and that's it, you're done.  Just like that, you're on the registry.

So please, go sign up.  It's easy, it's painless, and you could save a life.

Cooking with Saki

Breakfast is my favorite meal of the day.  I don't love breakfast at breakfast appropriate times, opting instead for several cups of coffee (mmm....coffee...), but I have to say that this recipe rocks my socks.  I have a striking inability to mess up all homemade banana bread, and most muffins.  My kids, however, happen to love banana muffins.  I hate making boxed muffins, as they are filled with god only knows what kind of preservatives, and you can always tell that they aren't homemade.  As with most of my favorite recipes, this one comes from a beautiful and very dear friend, Lindsay.

Normally, this would be the point in the post where I tell you to get yourself together and go to the store, but this recipe is so easy you probably already have everything on hand.  Go check, because you will need:

1 1/2 c. sugar

2 eggs

1/4 tsp. baking powder

4 ripe bananas

1/2 c. softened butter (not melted)

1/2 tsp. baking soda

1 tsp. vanilla

1 1/2 c. flour

Cream together the butter and sugar.  Add the eggs, mixing until well blended.  Slowly add the dry ingredients so as not to make a giant mess on your counter tops.  In a blender, blend together bananas and vanilla until it is pureed.  Add this to the mixing bowl, and give it a stir.  Pour into muffin tins, and bake at 375 for about 15 mins, or until muffins are a dark golden brown and cooked through out.  

Eat them hot with a little butter, and try to control yourself, because they really are that good.  

Attention Virginia Democrats!

Today is election day!  Go vote in the primary!  

If you don't vote today, I don't want to hear any bitching and moaning out of you come November when you don't like any of the candidates.  

Don't be jealous...

Well, okay, go ahead and be jealous, it's impossible not to.  I have the prettiest sister in the world

Things that make you go "Hmm.."

Given the recent finger pointing about the financial state of our country, I thought it would be fun to blog about money.  I enjoy spending money, I will admit it.  And really, who doesn't?  I tried to think of the largest sum of money I've held, and I don't think it was much (relatively speaking.)  I think I had maybe two thousand dollars in cash on me at one point when I was buying my second car.  At any rate, it's shocking to see how small two thousand dollars is when you hold it in your hand.  So much money seems like it should carry some weight to it - a hefty bundle.  So, let's look at money, shall we?

This is a $100USD bill.  Don't bother trying to print it out, that is fraudulent, and MSNBCasey can not be held responsible for your heathen activities.  Depending on the size of your screen, it should be pretty close to actual size.  H'anyway, this is the largest bill currently in general circulation:

Next we have a packet of one hundred $100 bills.  It is less than 1/2" thick, and contains $10,000USD.  Will fit perfectly in your pocket, and will provide days of fun: 

Believe it or not, blogfans, this next pile is a cool million - that's one hundred packets of $10,000.  It might not fit in your pocket, but I'm pretty sure I could cram that into the ol' Coach bag:

And now we're getting somewhere.  This is a picture of one hundred million dollars (Let's all do the Dr. Evil pinky-to-the-lips).  That is $100,000,000USD.  It fits nicely on a standard size pallet:

And now we have one billion dollars:

Next, we will look at one trillion dollars, since thats the recent drama.  For those of you, like myself, who are not of a math mind, a trillion is a one followed by twelve zeros.  And if you were to lay it out in hundred dollar bills, this is what it would look like.  Be sure to note that those pallets are double stacked:

Oh, and just for kicks, here is the national debt laid out in $100 bills

What the effing crap?

Courtesy of Amie

"One day, long, long ago, there lived a woman who did not whine, nag, or bitch.

But it was a long time ago & it was just that one day.

The End"

 

Things my husband does

Just to aggravate me:

And, as if this priceless facial hair debacle wasn't enough, he walked around all day, singing the theme from Shaft.

Cooking with Saki

Hi kids!!!  Today we are going to make Voodoo Brownies.  "What a funny name for brownies!" you might think.  Yes, it is a funny name for brownies.  My favorite recipes are given to me by friends, and this is no exception.  

This gem was given to me by a lovely and dear friend who lived in Louisiana at the time.  Being a friendly kind of lady, she made a big batch of brownies for her neighbors, only to be accused by one of them of trying to put a voodoo hex on them.  And so, Voodoo Brownies were born.  It is a favorite in our house, and will be in yours, too.  So hop on that bike and head to the store, because you will need:

14oz package of soft caramel candies

1/2c. evaporated milk

1c of butter

2c white sugar

2tsp vanilla

4 eggs

1 1/4c flour

3/4c unsweetened cocoa powder

1/4tsp salt

2 cups chocolate pieces - milk or semi sweet

1 1/2c chopped pecans

Heat oven to 350F.  In a small saucepan melt the caramels over low heat with the evaporated milk. Stir frequently.

Melt butter in medium saucepan over low heat, blend in sugar, vanilla and eggs. Stir in flour, cocoa and salt, mix well stir in 1 1/2 cups of chocolate chunks and 1 cup of the pecans. Spoon and spread in greased 9x13" pan

Gently and evenly drizzle the caramel mixture over the batter to prevent large pockets from reaching the bottom of the bars. (caramel can cover entire surface )

Bake 35-40 minutes until set

In small saucepan, melt remaining choc chips/chunks with small amount of vegetable fat (veggie oil or crisco) over low heat, stir until smooth. Drizzle over warm brownies. Sprinkle remaining pecans over top, press in lightly. Cool 20 minutes, refrigerate for an hour and a half or until chocolate is set.

If refrigerated longer, let stand at room temp for 20 minutes prior to serving.

So delicious, you'll be accused of sorcery!

Amazon Strikes Again

Check out this amazon.com listing.

I know, I know, you're probably just thinking "Wow, Saki, that's an ugly shirt."  Trust me, dearest blogfans, I thought the same thing.

Have a second look, this time paying close attention to the "Customers who viewed this item also viewed" section, and the Customer Reviews.

You're welcome.

Just wanted to say

Happy birthday to my Lovely Lauren!!

Go give her birthday wishes!

Cooking With Saki

Hi kids!  Today, we're going to make Coconut Curry Chicken.  Don't be scared, it's not as difficult as it sounds and it's so delicious my three year old even eats it (and it's a well known fact that she survives on air, and capri sun pouches).  So, step into your flip flops and head to the store, because you will need:

1 c. coconut milk

2 TBL chopped fresh cilantro

2 tsp. red curry paste

1/2 tsp. brown sugar

1 red bell pepper, sliced

1 bag fresh baby spinach (about 4 cups, give or take)

2 boneless skinless chicken breasts

salt and pepper to taste

Whisk coconut milk, cilantro, curry paste and brown sugar together in a bowl.  Cut the chicken breasts into medallions and salt and pepper as you see fit.  If you're feeling adventurous, sprinkle some red pepper flake in there, or a little ground cayenne.  Cook the chicken in a skillet with some extra virgin olive oil.  Once the chicken is cooked throughout, add sauce and red pepper.  Once sauce is bubbly, and the red pepper begins to soften, add the spinach and cover, cooking just until wilted.  Give it a final stir, and enjoy :)

The Story of Stuff

Are you a pothead, Focker?

Apparently, you are.

I have a tracker on my blog, that allows me to see how people found it - a link from somewhere else, a google search, a blog search, and so on and so forth.  

The number one way that people find my blog, is by googling "Hungry, Happy, Sleepy," from the infamous Katt Williams weed rants.  Over 70% of the visitors to my blog found it by looking for stand up skits about MJ.  

Further proving my point that you guys are a bunch of stoners - Aside from looking for tidbits about the ganja, you have also googled the following and somehow found me:

Bed hair  (what??)

Thompson Creek Window Fuck (I give you credit, that's probably pretty legit)

The Saga of Baba Fats (Oh Shel Silverstein, how I love thee)

Captain Crunch Cheerios (These do not exist in real life.  Go look for munchies somewhere else.)

I mean, come on now, kids.  Bed hair?  Ew.  Don't google bed hair (stop it.  I know you're all opening up a new window to go google it).  

I have also ascertained that you are very interested in seeing pictures of motorcycles.  The picture you are painting of yourselves, dear Blog Readers, is slightly disturbing.  

Quickly now, get your pitchforks and torches

10 REASONS WE SHOULD NOT ALLOW GAY MARRIAGE IN AMERICA

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay.  It will do so in the same way that hanging around left-handed people will make you left-handed.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all.  Clearly,  women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed. The sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children.  We know this is fact, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society.  We could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

Kids Speak

Cecilia:  Mommy, is Big Bird a boy, or a girl?

Saki:  Um, a boy.  I think.  Yeah, definitely boy.

Cecilia:  And Mommy is a girl.  And Daddy is a boy.  And Mima is a girl.

Saki:  That's right.  

Cecilia:  Mima has big nurses.  YaYa is a girl, too.  She has very big nurses.  *Cecilia lifts up her shirt and pinches her nipple*  Celia is a girl, but I have itty bitty teeny tiny nurses.

A Night in the Life

12 midnight - Head to bed after a 16 hour day that included breakfast with the inlaws, throwing a birthday party for Cecilia and her friends, hosting my family back at the house, having the kids across the street over for three hours to play, and cleaning up messes of the aforementioned events.

12:45am - Corral husband back into bed after a dream that sent him running and yelling into the hallway, looking for intruders

1:15 am - Clean up vomit from Cecilia's bed, hair, face and clothes.  Put her to sleep in my room.

1:25 am - Throw all vomitous laundry into the washer after shaking the particularly chunky sheets outside.

1:35 am - Crawl back into bed, jockeying for space in the queen size bed amongst my husband, my three year old and my infant 

1:50 am - Wake to Cecilia screaming and hold vomit bucket and her hair back as she gets sick.  Repeat 1:15, 1:25 and 1:35's events again.

2:30 am - And again

3:10 am - And again

3:55 am - And again.

4:10 am - Lucas wakes up, wanting to nurse, and realizes his sister is in the bed.  Spend the next 20 minutes trying to keep Lucas from kicking Sissy in the back or pulling her hair.

4:30 am - Everyone in the bed finally falls asleep

5:30 am - Alarm goes off

You never know just how you look through other peoples eyes

I signed onto Amazon today to try to find the elusive Glo-E bear for Cecilia for her birthday (which, by the way, is sold out.  Everywhere.  Of course it is.  FML.) and I was greeted by the ever-so-friendly "Welcome Saki!  We have recommendations for you!"

Recommendations, you say?  Having nothing better to do at the moment* I clicked to find out what my recommendations were.  According to Amazon, these are the things I need in my life:

1.  A 40 piece bit assortment

2.  A Leatherman multitool**

3.  A makita 18 volt compact drill

4.  Gillette Mach 3 cartridge 12 count

5.  Nintendo DS game system

6.  Tin-Man 2 disk collectors edition DVD set

7.  Victorinox Swiss Army Pocket Knife

8.  Fancy Nancy Bonjour Butterfly (hardcover)

9.  Rockabye: From Wild to Child (paperback)

10.  Holocaust Testimonies:  The Ruins of Memory (paperback)

Please join me in asking "What the fuck?"  Who exactly does Amazon think I am?  

* read: since I was avoiding cleaning the kitchen

**  Heh.. "multitool" makes me larf.  

Cooking with Saki

Hi, kids!  Today we're going to be making homemade yogurt.  So get your birkenstocks on and head to the store, because you will need:

8 cups of whole milk.  You can use organic (we did!) milk, but make sure that it is not "ultra-pasteurized"

1/2 cup of plain yogurt with live, active cultures.  Again, you can use organic (we did!)

a crockpot

a heavy bath towel

Pour milk into the crock pot, and set it to low.  Cook for two and a half hours.  When time is up, turn off your crock pot, and let it sit for three hours.  No peeking!  When three hours have passed, remove two cups of the warm milk and whisk it with your store bought yogurt until it's well blended.  Pour everything back into the crock pot, and whisk it together until it's good and mixed.  Put the lid back on, and wrap the entire crock pot up in the bath towel.  Now go away for 8 hours.  Seriously.  Don't touch it.  Go to sleep, or go to work, or go somewhere - resist the urge to peek inside.

When 8 hours are up, you will have yogurt!  It will be kind of watery.  If you like thicker yogurt, chill it in the fridge overnight and in the morning, strain through a cheese cloth.  The end result will be thick, creamy, delicious homemade yogurt.

You're welcome.