12 Pains of Christmas (An Ode to my Husband)

The first thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

Is finding a Christmas Tree

The second thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

Rigging up the lights

and finding a Christmas Tree

The third thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

Hangovers!

Rigging up the lights

and finding a Christmas Tree

The fourth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

Sending Christmas cards

Hangovers!

Rigging up the lights

and finding a Christmas Tree

The fifth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

Five months of bills

Sending Christmas cards

Hangovers!

Rigging up the lights

and finding a Christmas Tree

The sixth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

Facing my inlaws

Five months of bills!

Oh, I hate those Christmas cards!

Hangovers

Rigging up these lights

and finding a Christmas Tree

The seventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

The Salvation Army

Facing my inlaws

Five months of bills!

Sending Christmas Cards

Oh geez

I'm tryin'ta rig up these lights!

and finding a Christmas Tree

The eighth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

I WANNA TRANSFORMER FOR CHRISTMAS!

Charities

And whaddya mean "YOUR inlaws"?!

Five months of bills

Ack, these cards!

Honey, get me a beer, heh?

What, we have no extension cords?!?!

and finding a Christmas Tree

The ninth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

Finding parking spaces

DADDY, I WANT SOME CANDY!

Donations

Facing my inlaws

Five months of bills

Writing out those Christmas cards

Hangovers!

Now why the hell are they blinking?!

and finding a Christmas Tree

The tenth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

"Batteries not included"

No parking spaces

BUY ME SOMETHIN'

Get a job, ya bum!

Facing my inlaws

Five months of bills

Yo-ho sending Christmas cards

Oh geez, look at this

One light goes out, they ALL go out!

and finding a Christmas tree

The eleventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

Stale TV specials

"Batteries not included"

No parking spaces

I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOOOOOOM

Charities

She's a witch, I hate her

Five months of bills

Oh, I don't even KNOW half these people

Whose got the toilet paper huh?

Get the flashlight, I blew a fuse!

and finding a Christmas Tree

The twelfth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me

Singing Christmas carols

Stale TV specials

"Batteries not included"

No parking?!?!

WAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Charities

Gotta make 'em dinner

Five months of bills

That's it! I'm not sending them this year!

Shut up, you!

FINE! You're so smart, YOU rig up the lights!

and finding a Christmas Tree