Sunday, November 29, 2009

12 Pains of Christmas (An Ode to my Husband)

The first thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Is finding a Christmas Tree

The second thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Rigging up the lights
and finding a Christmas Tree

The third thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Hangovers!
Rigging up the lights
and finding a Christmas Tree

The fourth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Sending Christmas cards
Hangovers!
Rigging up the lights
and finding a Christmas Tree

The fifth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Five months of bills
Sending Christmas cards
Hangovers!
Rigging up the lights
and finding a Christmas Tree

The sixth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Facing my inlaws
Five months of bills!
Oh, I hate those Christmas cards!
Hangovers
Rigging up these lights
and finding a Christmas Tree

The seventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
The Salvation Army
Facing my inlaws
Five months of bills!
Sending Christmas Cards
Oh geez
I'm tryin'ta rig up these lights!
and finding a Christmas Tree

The eighth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
I WANNA TRANSFORMER FOR CHRISTMAS!
Charities
And whaddya mean "YOUR inlaws"?!
Five months of bills
Ack, these cards!
Honey, get me a beer, heh?
What, we have no extension cords?!?!
and finding a Christmas Tree

The ninth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Finding parking spaces
DADDY, I WANT SOME CANDY!
Donations
Facing my inlaws
Five months of bills
Writing out those Christmas cards
Hangovers!
Now why the hell are they blinking?!
and finding a Christmas Tree

The tenth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
"Batteries not included"
No parking spaces
BUY ME SOMETHIN'
Get a job, ya bum!
Facing my inlaws
Five months of bills
Yo-ho sending Christmas cards
Oh geez, look at this
One light goes out, they ALL go out!
and finding a Christmas tree

The eleventh thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Stale TV specials
"Batteries not included"
No parking spaces
I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOOOOOOM
Charities
She's a witch, I hate her
Five months of bills
Oh, I don't even KNOW half these people
Whose got the toilet paper huh?
Get the flashlight, I blew a fuse!
and finding a Christmas Tree

The twelfth thing at Christmas that's such a pain to me
Singing Christmas carols
Stale TV specials
"Batteries not included"
No parking?!?!
WAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Charities
Gotta make 'em dinner
Five months of bills
That's it! I'm not sending them this year!
Shut up, you!
FINE! You're so smart, YOU rig up the lights!
and finding a Christmas Tree

1 comment:

Hampers said...

Just gone through your 12 Pains of Christmas (An Ode to my Husband)and found your homework to be nice. Your blog looks perfect.