Friday, May 06, 2005

Just Two Lost Souls Swimmin' in a Fish Bowl (with Ich)

And i thought yesterday was shitty.

Introduce: Today.

Let's recap -
8am- realtor calls....ONLY 400k to get us in a house. Only. Ha.

9am- mom calls....She's visiting tomorrow. A quick survey of the apartment reveals a bong, a boot, much dust, heaps of laundry and a kitchen not fit for humans. Frig.

10am- Therapy. I loathe therapy. I was talking about school, and said "It's such a thorn in my side." and she responds with "thorn?" I nod, thinking maybe she didn't hear me. She continues with "what do you mean THORN?" sigh. I told her "It's a saying, you know, thorn in my side, pain in my ass..." and her response was "Why a thorn? Why not an ache?" GAAHH!!!!

11am- Home Depot. Went in for a Mother's Day gift certificate, ended up with 50 bucks worth of stuff from myself. And I was hit on not once, not twice, but three times. All were old. All were creepy. Only one didn't have a thick accent. They sounded like they were from Ghanna...the conversation went:
ME: Do you have this in a color that's NOT blue?
CREEPY GHANNA MAN: 'Old on a sec, lemme see fo' yo'
ME: < waiting impatiently for 15 mins >
CREEPY GHANNA MAN: We don' have none mo'
ME: Okie, thank you anyway
CREEPY GHANNA MAN: I work fo' yo'? I'd love yo' to be m' boos. I come plant yo' flowers? I plant something else?
ME: ............

I mean really now, WTF? Do I look interested? Evan has kindly planted the rock of Gibralter on my ring finger, it sparkles like..well, like a diamond. I KNOW he saw it. Obviously married. Wedding band, Eye rolls, wrinkled nose, and clenched fists are apparently not enough to deter some people.

1pm- Mom calls again. She's bringing a present. This can't be good.

1:15pm- Mom calls again. Is it going to rain here tomorrow? sigh...

1:35pm- Mom calls again. She hates T-Mobile and wants me to break our contract. I happen to love T-Mobile.

1:55pm- Mom calls again. Do we have a drill? Because we need a drill for the present. At least the present isn't alive.

3pm- Realtor calls. Can we do 425k?

5pm- Lupus is home. In an outrage about housing prices.

7pm- Venture to fish store to get new fish. Our fish are seriously lacking. We lost a bunch to a bad case of Ich. Now all that's left is Wannahockalugie, Feesh, Curacao and Pudge...and of course It'sPat, the frog, who, according to the pet store, will have a life span of 20+ years. By the rate of his growth, they figure him to be about a year. I will have this frog until i'm almost 45. Anyway. The fish store has ich too. Walk around feeling sad for the fuzzy fish. Evan once again denied me a parrot. I wanna parrot.

8pm- Beg to go to the carnival. Get denied again. Sulk incessently

8:54pm- Pull up to other fish store as the door locks.

9:30pm- Arrive back home. Kitchen is still condemned, but the rest of the apartment has somehow managed to get presentable throughout the day. Thank God for small miracles.

And so, here I sit, 11:33, blogging about my stupid day. At least tomorrow is Saturday. With our without my family's invasion.


Mike said...

Can you translate for me into english what the creepy ghana man said?

Saki said...

He said "hold on a sec, let me see for you...We don't have none more...I work for you? I'd love you to be my boss. I come plant your flowers? I plant something else?" Followed by a twisted wink and a smile like a jack-o-lantern. Ew.

lauren e said...

PUKE. down with men.

Mike said...

But *I* rule. Ask Casey!