Friday, May 06, 2005

Just Two Lost Souls Swimmin' in a Fish Bowl (with Ich)

And i thought yesterday was shitty.

Introduce: Today.

Let's recap -
8am- realtor calls....ONLY 400k to get us in a house. Only. Ha.

9am- mom calls....She's visiting tomorrow. A quick survey of the apartment reveals a bong, a boot, much dust, heaps of laundry and a kitchen not fit for humans. Frig.

10am- Therapy. I loathe therapy. I was talking about school, and said "It's such a thorn in my side." and she responds with "thorn?" I nod, thinking maybe she didn't hear me. She continues with "what do you mean THORN?" sigh. I told her "It's a saying, you know, thorn in my side, pain in my ass..." and her response was "Why a thorn? Why not an ache?" GAAHH!!!!

11am- Home Depot. Went in for a Mother's Day gift certificate, ended up with 50 bucks worth of stuff from myself. And I was hit on not once, not twice, but three times. All were old. All were creepy. Only one didn't have a thick accent. They sounded like they were from Ghanna...the conversation went:
ME: Do you have this in a color that's NOT blue?
CREEPY GHANNA MAN: 'Old on a sec, lemme see fo' yo'
ME: < waiting impatiently for 15 mins >
CREEPY GHANNA MAN: We don' have none mo'
ME: Okie, thank you anyway
CREEPY GHANNA MAN: I work fo' yo'? I'd love yo' to be m' boos. I come plant yo' flowers? I plant something else?
ME: ............

I mean really now, WTF? Do I look interested? Evan has kindly planted the rock of Gibralter on my ring finger, it sparkles like..well, like a diamond. I KNOW he saw it. Obviously married. Wedding band, Eye rolls, wrinkled nose, and clenched fists are apparently not enough to deter some people.

1pm- Mom calls again. She's bringing a present. This can't be good.

1:15pm- Mom calls again. Is it going to rain here tomorrow? sigh...

1:35pm- Mom calls again. She hates T-Mobile and wants me to break our contract. I happen to love T-Mobile.

1:55pm- Mom calls again. Do we have a drill? Because we need a drill for the present. At least the present isn't alive.

3pm- Realtor calls. Can we do 425k?

5pm- Lupus is home. In an outrage about housing prices.

7pm- Venture to fish store to get new fish. Our fish are seriously lacking. We lost a bunch to a bad case of Ich. Now all that's left is Wannahockalugie, Feesh, Curacao and Pudge...and of course It'sPat, the frog, who, according to the pet store, will have a life span of 20+ years. By the rate of his growth, they figure him to be about a year. I will have this frog until i'm almost 45. Anyway. The fish store has ich too. Walk around feeling sad for the fuzzy fish. Evan once again denied me a parrot. I wanna parrot.

8pm- Beg to go to the carnival. Get denied again. Sulk incessently

8:54pm- Pull up to other fish store as the door locks.

9:30pm- Arrive back home. Kitchen is still condemned, but the rest of the apartment has somehow managed to get presentable throughout the day. Thank God for small miracles.

And so, here I sit, 11:33, blogging about my stupid day. At least tomorrow is Saturday. With our without my family's invasion.

4 comments:

Mike said...

Can you translate for me into english what the creepy ghana man said?

Saki said...

He said "hold on a sec, let me see for you...We don't have none more...I work for you? I'd love you to be my boss. I come plant your flowers? I plant something else?" Followed by a twisted wink and a smile like a jack-o-lantern. Ew.

lauren e said...

PUKE. down with men.

Mike said...

But *I* rule. Ask Casey!