How to Sleep Train a Mommy

Okay, here is my situation:

My mommy has had me for almost 8 months.  The first few months were great - I cried, she picked me up and nursed me.  Anytime, day or night!  Then something happened.  Over the last few weeks, she has been trying to sleep through the night!  At first, I thought it was just a phase, but it is onlt getting worse.  I've talked to other babies, and it seems like it's pretty common after mommies have had us for about six months.  Here's the thing:  These mommies don't really need to sleep.  It's just a habit.  Many of them have had some 30 years to sleep - they just don't need it anymore.  So I am implementing a plan.  I call it the Crybaby Shuffle.  It goes like this:

Night 1:  Cry every 3 hours until you get fed.  I know, it's hard to see your Mommy upset over you crying - just keep reminding yourself that it's for her own good.  

Night 2:  Cry every two hours until you get fed.

Night 3:  Cry every hour.

Most mommies will start to respond more quickly after about three nights.  Some mommies are more alert, and may resist the change longer.  These mommies may stand in your doorway for hours, shh-ing.  Don't give in!!!  

I can not stress this enough:  Consistency is key!  If you let her sleep through the night just once, she will expect it every night.  I know it's hard, but she really does not need the sleep.  She is just resisting change.  If you have an especially alert mommy, you can stop crying for about ten minutes, just long enough for her to go back to bed and start to fall asleep.  Then cry again.  It will eventually work.  My mommy once stayed awake for ten hours straight, so i know she can do it.  

Last night, I cried every hour.  You just have to decide to stick to it and just go for it.  Be consistent!  I cried for any reason I could come up with.  My sleep sack tickled my foot.  I felt a wrinkle under the sheet.  My mobile made a shadow on the wall.  I burped, and it tasted like pears.  I hadn't eaten pears since lunch, what's up with that?  The dog said "woof."  i should know.  My mommy reminds me what a dog says about 20 times a day.  Once, I cried just because I liked how it sounded when it echoed on the monitor in the other room.  Too hot, too cold, just right - doesn't matter!  Keep crying!  It took a while, but it worked.  She nursed me at 4am.  Tomorrow night, my goal is 3:30am.  You need to slowly shorten the interval between feedings in order to reset your mommies internal clocks.  

Good Luck!

PS- Don't let those rubber things fool you.  No matter how long you suck on them, no milk will come out.  Trust me.