Our backyard cascades into what we (semi)lovingly refer to as "the fire swamp." If you've ever been to my house, you'll know what I'm talking about. Large, knotted trees, intertwined with vines several inches thick. Dense, green, damp underbrush crowds every square inch of useable space. I have ventured through the entire area, but I'm pretty sure there's lightening sand somewhere over by the Pitts' house, all of this glory is cut in the middle by a stream. Placid.
There is also no shortage of wildlife in the fireswamp. Poisonous snakes, bats, more bats, toads, more toads, and a family of foxes (foxes? Fox? foxen? Foxii?) who have escape my paparazzi abilities.
Sounds pleasant, right? Nice quiet street, nice quiet house, nestled in nature, abundant wildlife....
For the love of god, shut the wildlife up.
I'm a mom. I get about 3.67 non-consecutive hours of sleep in any given 24 hour time frame. I treasure those hours. I think about them often, and they motivate me. And so, when I climb into my comfy bed, excited by the cool breeze blowing gently over my face, inhaling the fresh air, it disturbs me greatly when I can't sleep.
And why can't I sleep, you ask?
Lets start with the owls. For the love of christ, the owls. WhooooooooooooOOOOOOO WhooooooooOOOOOOOOO *pause long enough for me to think they've flown away* WhoooooooooOOOOO WhoooooooooOOOOOOOOO
Add in the bullfrogs from the stream. Bullfrog don't ribbit or make a cute noise. Their sound is somthing akin to a frat boy beer belch. BWWAAAAP. BWAAAAAP.
Followed by the foxes (foxen.) The foxes make noises like a cat that's been hit by a car. Breeerrrrraaawwrrrr breeeerrrrraaawwwrrr.
The crickets, who make a somewhat nice noise, but since I am deathly afraid of them, it gives me the heebiejeebies.
My husband chimes in, with a nasally sleeping on his back snorky snore. Snnnoooooorrrrkkkkkk kkkkkk skooorrrrrkkk
Just as I think I'm about to go crazy laying in bed, trying to sleep but unable, my lovely Cecilia chimes in with "mem?" "Mem?" "MEMMY!!!!"
WhooooooooooooOOOOOOOWhooooooooOOOOOOOOOWhoooooooooOOOOOWhoooooooooOOOOOOOOO BWWAAAAP.BWAAAAAP BWWAAAAP.BWAAAAAPBreeerrrrraaawwrrrrbreeeerrrrraaawwwrrr.Breeerrrrraaawwrrrrbreeeerrrrraaawwwrrr. Snnnoooooorrrrkkkkkk kkkkkk skooorrrrrkkkSnnnoooooorrrrkkkkkk kkkkkk skooorrrrrkkkmem?Mem?Memmy?mem?mememememememememem?
So much for sleep.