Did you remember...

...to fall behind?

Half of our house is an hour off. And I"m too lazy to change it.

Whoops :)

Since I know you're all so concerned about my reproductive system...

Yesterday's prenatal told us....

Baby is measuring 12 weeks 5 days - Right on schedule.
Down another 2 pounds, 16 total - Doctor is still mad (like it's my fault, or something).
Hemotologist won't see me until my white cells are at 25,000 - boooo evil hemotologist.
Blood Pressure was 105/70 - Rock :)
Still don't quite have the hang of peeing in a cup, but we won't go there.

We couldn't hear the heartbeat because the baby was too low, so they did an ultrasound, which everyone in the room got to see but me, because the tech's big fat head was in the way. I didn't even get a picture.

Yeah, I cried the entire way home about that.

I survived the 1 hour glucose test, which, by the way, is the most god awful test ever. "Here, Casey, I know you puked all morning, but drink 50 oz. of this nasty syrup and don't vomit or drink anything else for an hour, and then we'll dig your veins out of your arm with a rusty shovel. Won't that be nice?" bllleeeeecccchhhh.

That's about it. They took more blood, so we'll know about the white cells by the end of the week.

Fall, in the Swamp

Fall has settled into the swamp.

This place is really lacking in it's transition skills, moving from 85 degrees and sweating in the shade, to sweaters and fuzzy socks. No light jacket days, no sleeping with a cool autumn breeze blowing over us. It somehow morphed from the hottest of summer days to the coldest parts of fall. I miss the time lost.

My favorite days are when I can go outside in a long sleeved shirt and pants, and be slightly warm. Sunny days that turn the leaves crisp before they fall. Here, they reach the ground still green - it's like the get too cold to hold onto the trees anymore.

It makes me ridiculously homesick.

Why I Love Lauren

#10- She knows the correct response to "I'm Le Tired"

#9- She doesn't bat an eye as I mutter "aw, shit.." and pass her my looped up knitting

#8- She thinks the phrase "Do you know what that sound is, Highness?" is just as funny as I do

#7- She knows how to make really witty cracks about republicans

#6- She lets my dog love her and show her all his toys (even if she is a cookie hoarde)

#5- She makes fun of my husband more than I do

#4- We share the same distaste for the same types of people - creates very fun bitchfests

#3- She never met a slurpee she didn't like

#2- She promptly declares anyone giving me a hard time a "No talent ass clown" and writes them off

#1- She's always there for me, and makes me smile when the last thing on my mind is smiling :)

Battle Hymn of the Republicans

Mine Eyes have seen the bungling of that stumbling moron Bush;
he has blathered all the drivel that the neo-cons can push;
he has lost sight of all reason 'cause his head is up his tush;
The Doofus marches on.

I have heard him butcher syntax like a kindergarten fool;
There is warranted suspicion that he never went to school;
Should we fault him for the policies - or is he just their tool?
The lies keep piling on.

Glory! Glory! How he'll Screw Ya'!
Glory! Glory! How he'll Screw Ya'!
Glory! Glory! How he'll Screw Ya'!
His wreckage will live on.

I have seen him cut the taxes of the billionaires' lone heir;
As he spends another zillion on an aircraft carrier;
Let the smokestacks keep polluting - do we really need clean air?
The surplus is now gone.

Glory! Glory! How he'll Screw Ya'!
Glory! Glory! How he'll Screw Ya'!
Glory! Glory! How he'll Screw Ya'!
Your safety net is gone!

Now he's got a mighty hankerin' to bomb a prostrate state;
Though the whole world knows its crazy - and the U.N. says to wait;
When he doesn't have the evidence, "We must prevaricate."
Diplomacy is done!

Oh, a trumped-up war is excellent; we have no moral bounds;
Should the reasons be disputed, we'll just make up other grounds;
Enraging several billions - to his brainlessness redounds;
The Doofus marches on!

Glory! Glory! How he'll Screw Ya'!
Glory! Glory! How he'll Screw Ya'!
Glory! Glory! How he'll Screw Ya'!
THIS...DOO...FUS...MAR...CHES...ON

Reason #245426 Why I Hate Virginia

DSC00328
Originally uploaded by lilmissimpatient.

Snakes.

Specifically, poisonous snakes.

Yes kids, that IS a copperhead. In my trashcan.

How did it get there, you ask? Well, sit right back, and you'll hear the tale:

Evan was mowing the lawn, which after 7 inches of rain had grown like the weeds it is. He picked up a few sticks and tossed them aside, when, right there in front of his eyes, one of the sticks slithered away and wrapped itself into our shrub.

After much whoo-ha, and neighborly advice, Evan and the 9 year old from across the street corralled it into our trashcan and secured the lid.

Mr. Pitt, the darling old man from next door declared the snake to be poisonous, and said "I reckon you should hit it with a baseball bat an' just get rid of it."

Not wanting to kill the snake, we fretted back and forth about what to do with our hostage. The lady across the street said "You could call the police...they'll come take it away for you, you know."

In fact, I did not know.

So we called the police, who came with giant snake-picking-up tongs, and scooped him up into another bucket to release back into the wild far, far, far from my front yard.

And so, the snake is gone, but we were warned that it may come back, because they are territorial (who knew?). And so, now, I watch the leaves rustle in the wind with an uneasy feeling in my belly, waiting for that little snake to come and reclaim his home.

Just Keep Knitting

baby blanket
Originally uploaded by lilmissimpatient.

So, after Lauren taught me how to knit on Monday, I've been busy knitting this masterpiece.

My sister declared it to be "metro-sexual" I don't quite think that's the look I was going for, but I'll takes what I can gets.

In the mean time, just keep knitting...just keep knitting...just keep knitting, knitting, knitting.

What do we do? We knit. Knit. KNIT.

La-la-la-lala-la-la-LA

Ya know what I hate?

Commence Rant.

Really obnoxious comments.

The ones where "anonymous" says:

Hey! You have a great blog here! You should check out my blog about Social Security Income in the Country of Tibet, Collected By Locals with 3 Legs and a Goat who is Disabled! I'm going to bookmark your blog now! ok, Bye!

Seriously. WTF. Get a grip. Get a life.

In that order.

Oh, and another thing....You totally aren't "anonymous" when you sign your god damn name at the bottom.

End Rant.

Last one, I promise....

Three Texas plastic surgeons were playing golf together and discussing surgeries they had performed.

One of them said, "I'm the best plastic surgeon in Texas. A concert pianist lost 7 fingers in an accident, I reattached them, and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of England."

One of the others said. "That's nothing. A young man lost both arms and legs in an accident, I reattached them, and 2 years later he won a gold medal in 5 field events in the Olympics."

The third surgeon said, "You guys are amateurs. Several years ago a cowboy who was high on cocaine and alcohol rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the horse's ass and a cowboy hat. Now he's president of the United States."

Another jab at Dubya...

Rumsfeld is giving the President his daily briefing, and he concludes by saying "Yesterday three Brazilian soldiers were killed."

"Oh no!" The President exclaims, "This is terrible!"

The President's staff sits, stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the President sits with his head in his hands.

Finally, the President looks up and says "How many is a brazillion?"

It's a Sad Day in Mudville...

Today, ItsPat, the psychotic albino frog died. He led a long and glorious life, spending his days uprooting aquatic plantlife, and rearranging rocks in the aquarium. Although his exact age is unknown, friends and relatives guess him to be anywhere from 2-5 years old.

He is survived by his tankmates - Curaco, Feesh, and YetToBeNamed.

Funeral Services led by the respectable Evan Burrows will be held tonight at the MSNBCasey News Station Backyard at approximately 8:30pm.

In leui of flowers, please send donations to the Leukemia Lymphoma Society:

http://www.active.com/donate/ltnAlexan/ltnBurrows3

Shh...You'll spook the goat!

So, this
is my new favorite animal.

It used to be a penguin, but my new favorite is definately fainting goats. They're little, they're cute, you'll never have to mow again, and if you creep them out, they fall down again and again for hours of entertainment. It doesn't get better than fainting goats.