Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Dear Saki...

Dear Spring,

I enjoy your presence in D.C. Please stick around for the next few months until summer comes. I'm a little over winter, and this winter was a particularly pathetic attempt at a season. I'm ready for flowers and sun and warmth, and I can even deal with some rain, as long as it's not mixed with ice pellets like winter sends us. If you stay, I'll give you a cookie.

Sincerely,
Hoping it stays warm

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Dear Weirdos Who Are Googling My Childs Picture,

Enough is enough now. I can see when you search my pictures, and I find you to be creepy. I know people. Stoppit.

Sincerely,
Cecilia's (The Easter Girl's) Mom

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Dear Childish Snapper,

I know you intended for your words to get back to me, just to get under my skin. They did. However, since it's no secret I find you to be classless and reprehensible, it ceases to bother me. The idea of a grown woman, a mother, no less, spewing sludge just to be catty is laughable, and a despicable example for your children. Truly, I pity them.

Truly,
Content In My Own Skin

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Dear D.C. Housing Market,

Shape up! I need to sell this house and go back to Jersey where I belong.

Signed,
Disgruntled Home Owner With a Hugantic Mortgage Payment

1 comment:

:lauren: said...

dear saki,

i miss you. i really want to hang out with you soon.

love,
lauren the great