The Root

Let's talk about the things that nobody ever talks about in mixed company, shall we? November is getting a bit bland, and truth be told, I'm scraping the bottom of the barrel to come up with topics for my own personal NaNoBloMo. So, let's talk about debt. I'm going to bare our financial soul to you, oh interwebs.

I sat down today to pay bills, a chore which no one is fond of. We are a fairly average American family, we spend very little on travel, and even less on entertainment. We don't go out to the movies, we rarely go out to dinner, and yet, somehow, it seems that money is always an issue.

We do live comfortably; we own a home, we both drive newer cars, our kids don't want for much. However, when writing out checks, it's amazing that this upcoming Fridays paycheck is already mostly spent. We broke it down to the bare bones, to see exactly where our money is going, and I, dear BlogFans, am going to open the closet door and show you that skeleton.

The mortgage, which is the biggest money hoarder of them all is sitting at a cool 3k, with taxes, insurance and escrow included. For those of you have been to my house, or at least seen my house, you know that three grand is an exceptional amount of money to pay, given the size and condition of the home. NoVA strikes again! Aside from the mortgage, this month we also have:

The Hubbin's Car Loan: $276

My Car Loan: $306

Student Loans: $290

Sewer (paid quarterly): $101

Car Insurance (paid bi-annually): $635

Cell Phone Plan: $85

Gas: $37

Electric: $85

Cable/Internets/Land Line: $170

Water (paid quarterly): $65

Gymnastics for Cecilia: $85

Savings: $150

Granted, this month was a brutal one, because we not only have insurance due, but also two other quarterly bills, so it's reasonably higher than usual. However, without having spent a cent on food, gas for the cars, or miscellaneous expenses like new coats for the kids, or clothing, or entertainment, we have already written away $5,285 in expenses for this month. This, of course, comes out of a paycheck that has already had state and federal taxes, retirement, social security, and health insurance taken out of it.

This game is expensive.

Speaking of Fall...

Lucas took an epic fall this weekend. He's 14 months, and refuses to walk. He can walk, if he had a desire to, but to be honest, homeslice is scared of falling. We have 542 toys to encourage walking, and he'll pull himself up on one, but the second he realizes that it moves, his legs shake so hard that his knees knock.

We were outside this weekend, a few kids from the block were over playing with Cecilia outside while we raked and did general fall yard clean up. Lucas was miffed because he was too small for the bounce house, too small for the car, and no one wanted to play blocks with him. He was crawling around, looking for something to do, when he missed a step on the patio, and did a faceplant onto the concrete.

His lips hurt real bad.

Fall Behind

It's been a huge rush of organization here at the Costa Casa. I have a deep rooted hatred for clutter. I despise it. My husband, on the other hand, is a hoarder and packrat. He can't help it, it's in his genes. It makes for difficult situations at our house, as I find things we no longer use and set them aside to recycle, freecycle, or donate.

We have two main problem areas - One is the utility room. It's a roughly 12x12 unfinished room in our house. It's where we keep our deep freezer and miscellaneous tools, etc. Since it is filled almost entirely with stuff that isn't mine, I generally close the door and keep my mouth shut. But when it gets so chaotic that I can't make a clear path from the door to the freezer, it's time for intervention. We spent two days this weekend decluttering, donating, sweeping, and organizing. It looks lovely.

Today I moved on to cabinets upstairs. I could hear the dismay in his voice as I called him at work*

Saki: I found this old Apple laptop. it's in like twelve pieces and all the wires are snipped. We get get rid of this, right?

The Hubbin', clearing his throat: Are you uh, organizing?

Saki: Yes. So. Trash?

The Hubbin': Well. I mean....

Saki: If you have a legitimate reason to keep it, we can keep it

The Hubbin': Well, i'd like to keep it.

Saki: What are you going to do with it?

The Hubbin': Fine. Get rid of it

I'm now in the process of moving on to the hall closet, which is the second of our major problem areas. It's a closet that homes all of the homeless stuff in our house. And our coats. Too much stuff in too little space. To give you an idea of the sheer volume of brick-a-brack in this closet, see exhibit A and B:

Oh. My. God. I can't believe I actually posted pictures of that mess on the internet. See the lengths that I go to for you, blogfans? Don't say I never did anything for you.

*My husband loves when I call him at work, and usually responds with great enthusiasm**

** This is a lie.

Home.

I have been very happy with my home, but homes really are no more than the people who live in them. - Nancy Reagan

'Tis the Season

Even though Thanksgiving is almost three weeks away, stores are already pulling out all the stops, and sending holiday fliers in the mail, and tucking them into my Washington Post. We got a pretty hefty catalogue from Target the other day, filled with nothing but toys, toys, toys.

This is the first year that Cecilia is really understanding Santa Claus, so I handed her the catalogue and a marker and told her to circle things that she might like to ask Santa for this year. She sat at the kitchen table, intent in her work while I made dinner. As dinner was ready to be set on the table, the conversation went as such:

Saki: Sissy, put your stuff away, dinner is ready. You can finish after you eat.

Cecilia: Just a second Mommy, I'm still circling my Toy Menu.

Saki: Your what?

Cecilia, holding up the catalogue: My Toy Menu.

NaNope

November is National Novel Writing Month - NaNoWriMo for short. The goal is to crank out 50,000 words (175 pages) between November 1st and midnight on November 30th. It's a race against yourself, valuing quantity over quality to get over your writers block, and get the creativity flowing. NaNo'ers spend hours, daily pecking out their novels.

Since I have two small children, I have exactly 48 free seconds every day* and therefore have decided against participating in NaNoWriMo. However, since I'm with my NaNo'ing friends in spirit, I've made November my own personal NaBloWriMo. (National Blog Writing Month, obviously.) And I hereby vow to make a blog post every day in the month of November**

So prepare yourselves, internets, you'll be hearing a lot from me this month.

* I'm currently writing this post from the shower, where I'm washing not only myself, but the lunch dishes.

** I know I've already missed a day. I will make up for it with two posts one day soon. Stop being so nitpicky, BlogFans.

I made that, you know.

No really, I did.

Cooking with Saki

Welcome back, guys! I know I've been neglecting my blog, you're probably pretty hungry out there in the land of the internets. So today, we're going to make a delicious fall recipe! Cranberry-Orange Crunch Muffins. This is an oldie-but-goodie I got from a friend way back when, who would probably die if she knew I was posting it for you, dear blogfans. So, let's keep this our little secret, okay? Put your uggs on, we're going to the store to get:

1.5 cups fresh cranberries, cut in half and rinsed

2TBL flour

2.5 cups flour

2tsp baking powder

1/2 tsp salt

1/2 tsp nutmeg

1/2 cup butter

1/3 cup white sugar

2 large eggs

1 TBL orange zest

1 cup milk

Topping:

1/4 cup white sugar

1/4 almonds

2 TBL flour

2 TBL butter

Rinse your halved berries and pat dry. Toss with 2 TBL flour and set aside. Mix milk and orange zest and set aside. Cream together butter and sugar. Add eggs. Mix all dry ingredients well, and slowly add to butter mixture, alternating with milk/zest. Mix well, and pour into lined muffin tins.

Place all topping ingredients into a food processor/mini chopper until well combined and crumbly. Sprinkle on top of muffins.

Bake at 350F for 35-45 mins.

Enjoy :)

Rock the Vote

Vote Early!

Vote Often!

Vote Democrat*!

*Or at the very least, don't vote Republican.

There are 3 things I've learned to never discuss with people in public: Religion, Politics, and The Great Pumpkin

Tonight, being the night after Halloween, is the night when The Great Pumpkin comes. You collect your Halloween candy, put it in your trick-or-treat bucket, and leave it by the door. The Great Pumpkin will come and collect the candy, to give to the children who don't have any. He will leave a toy for you in its place.

"You don't believe the story of the Great Pumpkin? I thought little girls always believed everything that was told to them. I thought little girls were innocent and trusting" - Linus

What manner of douchebaggery is this?

Dear Hoodlums, Hooligans and Various RiffRaff,

I hope that you're pleased with yourself, seizing the opportunity to help yourself to the contents of my vehicle. It took some balls to go into my car in the middle of the day with everyone home and steal things.

I'll have you know that the GPS was a gift from my Mother-in-Law. I hope that it malfunctions and gets you really, really lost.

And that hot pink DVD player belonged to a three year old. I'm sure it looks pretty badass at your house and all, but i'll have you know that the screen has fleckles of vomit on it from when she power puked in the car. I sincerely hope that you get her stomach flu. And I hope you vomit til your eyes fall out.

Oh, and it was most kind of you to leave me the empty case for Elmo in Grouchland. That will surely amuse my children on the seven hour car ride that we will be going on tomorrow. I mean, who needs directions and portable entertainment when you have an empty DVD case.

Regards,
Saki

PS - You suck and I hate you.

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

Unpleasantness

Listen StomachVirusFromHell,

I told you two weeks ago to stay out of our life. And you did not listen. You came back to harass my children a third time. Pack your shit, and your vomit and your fevers and check out of my house for good. I mean it.

And if you try to come back again, I will cold stab a bitch. Don't think I won't.

Kthxbye.

- Saki

PS- Fuck you.

Baby Powder....The Toy of Champions

"I'm sorry we made a mess, Mommy, but that was FUN!" - Cecilia

Bleeeeeeh

Dear Stomach Flu,

You were not welcome in our family the first time, and you are really not welcome this second time. Go bother someone else's children and leave mine alone.

Sincerely,

Sick of Vomit

PS- You are disgusting.

Blah blah, health care, yadda yadda

Protect Insurance Companies PSA from Will Ferrell

Quick! He's after our children!!!

Happy Happy Birthday to You

Happy First Birthday, Mungus!!

Advise me, O' Wise Interwebs

I have inherited a jade plant, and it has something wrong with it! It's definitely not mealies, since the patches of white/grey are scaly, rather than fuzzy like mealy bugs usually are. But I think it's killing the plant. I tried plucking all the affected leaves, and that caused tons of new growth, but now some of the new leaves have it, also.

I didn't want to have to do this..

...but I feel it's my last resort.

Dear Comcast,

Hello, Old Friend, we've been down this road before. Remember me? The one who wanted the tiny cable box? Well, it broke. So they gave me another one. Which broke. So they gave me another one. Which broke. So they gave me another one, which is currently broken, even thought I obediently waited around my house all day during my 9am-9pm window for the technician to fix it. This is the third cable box in three days, Comcast. Shape up. Or at least come watch my disgruntled children at 6am when they want to watch Sprout while I caffeinate myself. Gawd.

Love,

Saki

The Darndest Things

While driving the other day, I had the following conversation with my three year old:

Cecilia: Mommy?

Saki: Yes?

Cecilia: When I close my eyes, my ears still work.

Saki: Really?

Cecilia: Yes. See? *Cecilia closes her eyes* My ears are still working.

Dear Hurricane Bill

Dear Hurricane Bill,

You and your rain are seriously cramping my style. Kindly mosey yourself on along and go bother Nova Scotia like the weatherman told you to do.

Thank you,

Saki

PS - You are weak and a rather lame excuse for a hurricane. That is all.

Newsflash!

Potomac News and Messenger is undoubtedly one of the worst papers I have ever read. We cancelled our subscription not long after moving here, due to the fact that not one line in the entire newspaper was devoted to anything other than local news. No wars, no California wildfires, no international relations...If it didn't happen in Prince William County, it didn't happen.

However, being somewhat of a news junkie, I do appreciate my local news, which the Washington Post just glosses over. Not as interesting as DC, not as rough as Prince George, not as wealthy as Fairfax, not as gangsta as Arlington. Prince William County is a minute blip in the Post's radar. So i've taken to reading Potomac News online. I particularly enjoy the police blotter, and really, who doesn't?

So today, after my daily dose of police drama, I came across this article, about the recent Phish concert.

PHISH CONCERT NETS 31 ARRESTS

COLUMBIA, Md. (AP) — Call it shooting Phish in a barrel.

Howard County police say they made 31 arrests at a Phish concert at Merriweather Post Pavilion over the weekend, most of them for drug possession.

Among those charged were four men police say were selling drugs out of a recreational vehicle. Police seized the RV along with marijuana and $12,000 in cash.

Three other people were arrested on drug dealing charges, while 20 were charged with possession. Two were charged with second-degree assault on a police officer and two with trespassing.

Police spokeswoman Sherry Llewellyn says more than 20,000 people attended the show and there was a strong police presence, including some officers who worked undercover.

Pot smoking is common at Phish shows.

Golly...Really?

Today I am grateful for...

Two happy, healthy, beautiful children

A husband who loves me muchly

A deep soaking, intense rain to quench my thirsty flowers

The sunshine that followed

The forethought of my March 2009 self to make and freeze a potpie, so that my August 2009 self wouldn't have to cook tonight

Wonderfully inspiring friends and friendships that encourage me to follow my heart

Strong roots

The kindness and generosity of strangers and neighbors

What are you grateful for, today?

Tiny Dancer

All of last week, Cecilia went to "Princess Ballet Camp" in Alexandria. I'm not positive what exactly she thought ballet entailed, but I don't think it was quite what she expected. Friday, after five days of three hour per day practices, they put on a mini recital. Before they danced, the teacher asked each ballet student something about princesses. Answers ranged from "Princesses never tell lies," to "Princesses wear sparkly crowns." When they got to Cecilia, her answer was "Princesses have Princes." Keep an eye on that one, Daddy.

The music started and my Mommy-Heart swelled and, of course, I cried.

Wands up!

Hopping?

Crown? Check. Wand? Check. Sparkly skirt? Check. Totally Princess.

All of the Princesses

Mommy, if you ever show this to anyone, I will bite you.

Baby you can drive my car

Knocking wood so as not to jinx it, but I have had a working fridge for eight (8) whole days now! For those of you not in the know, my fridge stopped working and was repaired June 25th. It stopped working again July 3rd and just got repaired last Thursday*. You can imagine what the stuff in my fridge looked like after a month with no refrigeration. Obviously we discarded things like milk and cheese immediately, but did you know that jelly completely liquifies when it goes bad? And bad garlic smells disturbingly like hotdogs.

I had to completely empty, sanitize and restock the fridge this week, which is no easy job with two kids in tow...but let's not kid ourselves here, nothing is easy with two kids in tow. My fears were quickly assuaged, though, because Wegman's has rocked my socks this week with their super convenient car carts!

Beepbeep Beepbeep YEAH!

* If you live in Northern Virginia, and have a broken fridge, do not use Quality Appliance Repair. You've been warned. Angry letters by the dozen this month, kids.

Home again, home again

Finally, back in Virginia. Where it is wonderfully warm, and drama free.

Jigetty Jig.

Bliss.

BBQ!

A Day in the Life

For the past week, my schedule has been such:

8:30 - wake up with the kids

9 - drink coffee and eat a bagel

9:30 - sunscreen self and the children

10 - pack the car

10:45 - plop myself down on beach chair and watch kids play in the tide pools

11:45 - lay on my belly on my towel to tan my back and watch the building of a sand castle

12:45 - cool off in ocean

1 - plop myself down on beach chair and watch my kids play in the tide pools

2 - lay on my belly on my towel to tan my back and watch the building of another (bigger, better) sandcastle

3:30 - arrive home and immediately jump into the pool

5:30 - eat something deliciously grilled

7:30 - put the kids in bed

10:30 - enjoy a tasty Rita's Water Ice, courtesy of Jemma

11 - blessed, blessed sleep

I win.

Where've Ya Been?

"You don't call, you don't write..."

I know, I know. Many apologies, dear blogfans. I've been completely self bsorbed and entrenched in my own little microcosm. And trust me when I tell you that it's nothing you'd want to hear about anyway.

I know this is a rather disappointing end to my hiatus, but good stuff is coming, I promise :)

She Dreams in Color, She dreams in Red

Now I lay me down not to sleep
I just get tangled in the sheets
I swim in sweat three inches deep
I just lay back and claim defeat

Chapter read and lesson learned

I turned the lights off while he burned

So while he's three hundred degrees

I throw the sheets off and I freeze

Lately, and I know I'm not alone in this, I've had a very hard time sleeping.  Lots of tossing, lots of turning, my mind thinks about all sorts of mundane things that don't matter one iota at three in the morning.  At first I thought I was just stressed about some medical test results that were pending, and when that resolved, I blamed it on the moon.  But now the moon doesn't seem to be bothering anybody else, so I'm not too sure what it's all about. 

Lids down, I count sheep

I count heartbeats

The only thing that counts 

is that I won't sleep

I countdown, I look around

My hands are locked up tight in fists

My mind is racing filled with lists

of things to do, and things I've done

Another sleepless night's begun.

Everyone tells me "Sleep when your children sleep."  As if such a luxury was something like a switch.  I could just crawl into bed at quarter after eight when the shortlings are snoozing and go to sleep.  Now, don't get me wrong, dear blogfans, I would love to do just that.  But sleep is so elusive as of late.  And I don't know why.  I think about it.  Actually, when I get out of bed in the morning, my daydreams for the first hour or two are usually about my pillow.  I love my pillow(s).  

There's so much joy in life

so many pleasures all around

But the pleasure of insomnia

is one I've never found

With all life has to offer

There's so much to be enjoyed

But the pleasures of insomnia

are ones I can't avoid

My mother informs me that one simply "Can't just continue on like that," and assures me that I will "crash and burn," eventually.  Crashing and burning really doesn't sound like something I'm into, but at this point, I'd take what I can get.  Last night, after an excessively long day of errands, doctors appointments, dinner with the shortlings and hubbin', a drive to and from Tysons Corner in DC rush hour traffic I decided that enough was enough.  I examined a bottle of outdated prescription Ambien, and decided that the expiration date of 2+ years ago was just too much.  A good nights sleep was just not worth poisoning myself over.  So, I took two benadryl and called it a night.  I insisted that the grouchy hubbin' rub my back until I fell asleep.  I don't know how long it took, but truth be told, it didn't feel all that long before I drifted off into blissful sleep.

Oh yes, I said it: blissful sleep.  Prior to the never-being-able-to-fall-asleep drama of '09, I was plagued with the super-realistic-and-horrendous-dreams trials.  However, last night I had no such experience!  My dream, the one that I remember, was quite pleasant:

In my dream I was with my sister in the MAC store.  This was no doubt fueled by my longing gazes at the new MAC store in Tysons earlier that same day.  Anyway, so we were shopping, and there were all these truly wonderful eyeliners - ones with sparkles, and ones with big blunt tips, and ones with tiny little points, and brushes and lipsticks and I just couldn't help myself!  We were filling up basket after basket of stuff, it was like children in a candy store.  Everywhere we turned there were more wonderful cosmetic products to play with!  I turned to my sister, and asked where the eye shadow was.  A salesgirl, overhearing directed us to a separate room - one filled floor to ceiling with eye shadow.  Colors from every inch of the spectrum, lined ceiling to floor.  And blog readers, believe me when i tell you - Angels Heralded in my dream.  Choruses of perfectly pitched, exact key "ahhhhhhh" rang out in my dream.

And on that note, no pun intended, I have very high hopes for tonights sleep.  Oh, and I think I might have some underlying issues with that whole Heaven-is-a-MAC-store bit.  

Who needs sleep?

Well, you're never gonna get it

Who needs sleep?

Tell me, what's that for

Who needs sleep

Be happy with what you're getting

There's a guy who's been awake

since the Second World War

In My Daughters Eyes

On Sunday, we were driving home from my mother-in-law's house, and since we were within 45 miles of it, I made Evan stop in Hoboken for a slice of Gio's Pizza, and a sandwich from Vito's Deli.  

Since there has not been an open parking spot in Hoboken since 1947, we double parked in front of the deli, and Evan ran in to pick up our sandwiches.  It had been a while since we've been there, and a little (somewhat trashy) lingerie shop opened up a few doors down, and we were conveniently parked right in front of their giant windows.  

I spent most of the time convincing Cecilia that Hoboken was not, in fact, Sesame Street, despite her protests of how much the big brownstones looked like Sesame Street and Hooper's Store.  The abundance of pigeons, which she dubbed "Like Burt's Bernice!" didn't help my case, either.

But I digress.  After I finally convinced her that we were only in Hoboken, the backseat grew quiet.

Suddenly she piped up loudly, pointing out her window:

"Look Mommy!  It's like you!  It's like you in that store!  There you are!  In red!  Mommy!  There you are!!"

Much to my amusement and chagrin, my three year old was pointing to a mannequin in the window of the lingerie shop, who happened to be wearing a hooker red sparkly baby doll nightie, and sporting a bleach blonde wig with blunt cut bangs:

Well, if that isn't a dead ringer for me, I don't know what is.  

How to Save a Life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

It's that time of year again, everyone.  The National Bone Marrow Registry is doing their annual sign up drive!  There is usually a $100 fee for signing up, as the bio-typing is quite costly, but now through June 22nd, 2009, the fee is waived, and you can save a life for free!

Most of you know, my mom was diagnosed with end of life stage leukemia.  Her body was shutting down, her white cellcount was over 600,000.

It is because of donated bone marrow that she is alive today.  To see me get married, to see my children born, to see my sister graduate high school and then college, all because of a bone marrow donor.

The typing is easy, you guys.  They will mail you 4 giant Q-Tips.  Stick 'em in your mouth, swish a bit, then put them in the pre-paid envelope that came with it, stick it in your mailbox, and that's it, you're done.  Just like that, you're on the registry.

So please, go sign up.  It's easy, it's painless, and you could save a life.

Cooking with Saki

Breakfast is my favorite meal of the day.  I don't love breakfast at breakfast appropriate times, opting instead for several cups of coffee (mmm....coffee...), but I have to say that this recipe rocks my socks.  I have a striking inability to mess up all homemade banana bread, and most muffins.  My kids, however, happen to love banana muffins.  I hate making boxed muffins, as they are filled with god only knows what kind of preservatives, and you can always tell that they aren't homemade.  As with most of my favorite recipes, this one comes from a beautiful and very dear friend, Lindsay.

Normally, this would be the point in the post where I tell you to get yourself together and go to the store, but this recipe is so easy you probably already have everything on hand.  Go check, because you will need:

1 1/2 c. sugar

2 eggs

1/4 tsp. baking powder

4 ripe bananas

1/2 c. softened butter (not melted)

1/2 tsp. baking soda

1 tsp. vanilla

1 1/2 c. flour

Cream together the butter and sugar.  Add the eggs, mixing until well blended.  Slowly add the dry ingredients so as not to make a giant mess on your counter tops.  In a blender, blend together bananas and vanilla until it is pureed.  Add this to the mixing bowl, and give it a stir.  Pour into muffin tins, and bake at 375 for about 15 mins, or until muffins are a dark golden brown and cooked through out.  

Eat them hot with a little butter, and try to control yourself, because they really are that good.  

Attention Virginia Democrats!

Today is election day!  Go vote in the primary!  

If you don't vote today, I don't want to hear any bitching and moaning out of you come November when you don't like any of the candidates.  

Don't be jealous...

Well, okay, go ahead and be jealous, it's impossible not to.  I have the prettiest sister in the world

Things that make you go "Hmm.."

Given the recent finger pointing about the financial state of our country, I thought it would be fun to blog about money.  I enjoy spending money, I will admit it.  And really, who doesn't?  I tried to think of the largest sum of money I've held, and I don't think it was much (relatively speaking.)  I think I had maybe two thousand dollars in cash on me at one point when I was buying my second car.  At any rate, it's shocking to see how small two thousand dollars is when you hold it in your hand.  So much money seems like it should carry some weight to it - a hefty bundle.  So, let's look at money, shall we?

This is a $100USD bill.  Don't bother trying to print it out, that is fraudulent, and MSNBCasey can not be held responsible for your heathen activities.  Depending on the size of your screen, it should be pretty close to actual size.  H'anyway, this is the largest bill currently in general circulation:

Next we have a packet of one hundred $100 bills.  It is less than 1/2" thick, and contains $10,000USD.  Will fit perfectly in your pocket, and will provide days of fun: 

Believe it or not, blogfans, this next pile is a cool million - that's one hundred packets of $10,000.  It might not fit in your pocket, but I'm pretty sure I could cram that into the ol' Coach bag:

And now we're getting somewhere.  This is a picture of one hundred million dollars (Let's all do the Dr. Evil pinky-to-the-lips).  That is $100,000,000USD.  It fits nicely on a standard size pallet:

And now we have one billion dollars:

Next, we will look at one trillion dollars, since thats the recent drama.  For those of you, like myself, who are not of a math mind, a trillion is a one followed by twelve zeros.  And if you were to lay it out in hundred dollar bills, this is what it would look like.  Be sure to note that those pallets are double stacked:

Oh, and just for kicks, here is the national debt laid out in $100 bills

What the effing crap?

Courtesy of Amie

"One day, long, long ago, there lived a woman who did not whine, nag, or bitch.

But it was a long time ago & it was just that one day.

The End"

 

Things my husband does

Just to aggravate me:

And, as if this priceless facial hair debacle wasn't enough, he walked around all day, singing the theme from Shaft.

Cooking with Saki

Hi kids!!!  Today we are going to make Voodoo Brownies.  "What a funny name for brownies!" you might think.  Yes, it is a funny name for brownies.  My favorite recipes are given to me by friends, and this is no exception.  

This gem was given to me by a lovely and dear friend who lived in Louisiana at the time.  Being a friendly kind of lady, she made a big batch of brownies for her neighbors, only to be accused by one of them of trying to put a voodoo hex on them.  And so, Voodoo Brownies were born.  It is a favorite in our house, and will be in yours, too.  So hop on that bike and head to the store, because you will need:

14oz package of soft caramel candies

1/2c. evaporated milk

1c of butter

2c white sugar

2tsp vanilla

4 eggs

1 1/4c flour

3/4c unsweetened cocoa powder

1/4tsp salt

2 cups chocolate pieces - milk or semi sweet

1 1/2c chopped pecans

Heat oven to 350F.  In a small saucepan melt the caramels over low heat with the evaporated milk. Stir frequently.

Melt butter in medium saucepan over low heat, blend in sugar, vanilla and eggs. Stir in flour, cocoa and salt, mix well stir in 1 1/2 cups of chocolate chunks and 1 cup of the pecans. Spoon and spread in greased 9x13" pan

Gently and evenly drizzle the caramel mixture over the batter to prevent large pockets from reaching the bottom of the bars. (caramel can cover entire surface )

Bake 35-40 minutes until set

In small saucepan, melt remaining choc chips/chunks with small amount of vegetable fat (veggie oil or crisco) over low heat, stir until smooth. Drizzle over warm brownies. Sprinkle remaining pecans over top, press in lightly. Cool 20 minutes, refrigerate for an hour and a half or until chocolate is set.

If refrigerated longer, let stand at room temp for 20 minutes prior to serving.

So delicious, you'll be accused of sorcery!

Amazon Strikes Again

Check out this amazon.com listing.

I know, I know, you're probably just thinking "Wow, Saki, that's an ugly shirt."  Trust me, dearest blogfans, I thought the same thing.

Have a second look, this time paying close attention to the "Customers who viewed this item also viewed" section, and the Customer Reviews.

You're welcome.

Just wanted to say

Happy birthday to my Lovely Lauren!!

Go give her birthday wishes!

Cooking With Saki

Hi kids!  Today, we're going to make Coconut Curry Chicken.  Don't be scared, it's not as difficult as it sounds and it's so delicious my three year old even eats it (and it's a well known fact that she survives on air, and capri sun pouches).  So, step into your flip flops and head to the store, because you will need:

1 c. coconut milk

2 TBL chopped fresh cilantro

2 tsp. red curry paste

1/2 tsp. brown sugar

1 red bell pepper, sliced

1 bag fresh baby spinach (about 4 cups, give or take)

2 boneless skinless chicken breasts

salt and pepper to taste

Whisk coconut milk, cilantro, curry paste and brown sugar together in a bowl.  Cut the chicken breasts into medallions and salt and pepper as you see fit.  If you're feeling adventurous, sprinkle some red pepper flake in there, or a little ground cayenne.  Cook the chicken in a skillet with some extra virgin olive oil.  Once the chicken is cooked throughout, add sauce and red pepper.  Once sauce is bubbly, and the red pepper begins to soften, add the spinach and cover, cooking just until wilted.  Give it a final stir, and enjoy :)

The Story of Stuff

Are you a pothead, Focker?

Apparently, you are.

I have a tracker on my blog, that allows me to see how people found it - a link from somewhere else, a google search, a blog search, and so on and so forth.  

The number one way that people find my blog, is by googling "Hungry, Happy, Sleepy," from the infamous Katt Williams weed rants.  Over 70% of the visitors to my blog found it by looking for stand up skits about MJ.  

Further proving my point that you guys are a bunch of stoners - Aside from looking for tidbits about the ganja, you have also googled the following and somehow found me:

Bed hair  (what??)

Thompson Creek Window Fuck (I give you credit, that's probably pretty legit)

The Saga of Baba Fats (Oh Shel Silverstein, how I love thee)

Captain Crunch Cheerios (These do not exist in real life.  Go look for munchies somewhere else.)

I mean, come on now, kids.  Bed hair?  Ew.  Don't google bed hair (stop it.  I know you're all opening up a new window to go google it).  

I have also ascertained that you are very interested in seeing pictures of motorcycles.  The picture you are painting of yourselves, dear Blog Readers, is slightly disturbing.  

Quickly now, get your pitchforks and torches

10 REASONS WE SHOULD NOT ALLOW GAY MARRIAGE IN AMERICA

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay.  It will do so in the same way that hanging around left-handed people will make you left-handed.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all.  Clearly,  women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed. The sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children.  We know this is fact, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society.  We could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

Kids Speak

Cecilia:  Mommy, is Big Bird a boy, or a girl?

Saki:  Um, a boy.  I think.  Yeah, definitely boy.

Cecilia:  And Mommy is a girl.  And Daddy is a boy.  And Mima is a girl.

Saki:  That's right.  

Cecilia:  Mima has big nurses.  YaYa is a girl, too.  She has very big nurses.  *Cecilia lifts up her shirt and pinches her nipple*  Celia is a girl, but I have itty bitty teeny tiny nurses.

A Night in the Life

12 midnight - Head to bed after a 16 hour day that included breakfast with the inlaws, throwing a birthday party for Cecilia and her friends, hosting my family back at the house, having the kids across the street over for three hours to play, and cleaning up messes of the aforementioned events.

12:45am - Corral husband back into bed after a dream that sent him running and yelling into the hallway, looking for intruders

1:15 am - Clean up vomit from Cecilia's bed, hair, face and clothes.  Put her to sleep in my room.

1:25 am - Throw all vomitous laundry into the washer after shaking the particularly chunky sheets outside.

1:35 am - Crawl back into bed, jockeying for space in the queen size bed amongst my husband, my three year old and my infant 

1:50 am - Wake to Cecilia screaming and hold vomit bucket and her hair back as she gets sick.  Repeat 1:15, 1:25 and 1:35's events again.

2:30 am - And again

3:10 am - And again

3:55 am - And again.

4:10 am - Lucas wakes up, wanting to nurse, and realizes his sister is in the bed.  Spend the next 20 minutes trying to keep Lucas from kicking Sissy in the back or pulling her hair.

4:30 am - Everyone in the bed finally falls asleep

5:30 am - Alarm goes off