Overheard in our house

The Scene: Walking into Outback Steakhouse

Saki: Sissy, are you hungry?

Cecilia: Yes. I'm gonna eat the hell out of that onion!

The Scene: On the phone with my mother

YaYa: I can't believe I got called for jury duty!

Saki: That's what you get for voting!

They want the government controlling social security like it's some kind of federal program

The scene: Sitting in a sea of paperwork, just about to wrap up a three and a half hour application to social security for Lucas

Saki: Okay, that should do it. Anything else I should say about Lucas?

The Hubbin': Did you mention that he's studly?

Saki: I don't think there's an ICD code for that, babe.

Hoppy Eastah! (also, the post in which I fail at youth religious education)

The scene: A crowded restaurant, jam packed with senior citizens during the early lunch rush. I am sitting with The Hubbin'; Cecilia, 4; and Lucas, 2.

Cecilia: It's almost Easter!

Saki: I know! Are you excited?

Cecilia: Mommy, why do we have Easter?

Saki: Because of Jesus. Do you know who Jesus is?

Cecilia: *deer in headlights*

Saki: Jesus was a very, very, very kind man, who lived a long time ago --

Cecilia: Oh, that's nice.

Saki: ...But he died.

Cecilia: That's terrible! How did he die?

The Hubbin', as he runs away: I'm just going to get up and go somewhere that isn't here

Saki: *nervously looking around* Well, there were people who didn't like Jesus, so they put him on a big cross, and he died there.

Cecilia: That was fresh of them.

Saki: But it's okay, because three days later, he came back to life!

Cecilia: What? How?

Saki: Because Jesus is God's son. And God is magical, and because people believed in him, he helped bring Jesus back to life.

Cecilia: So God is magical?

Saki: Uh....yes. Sort of. Yes.

Cecilia: OH! I get it -- God is magic like Harry Potter!

Schooled

While sitting at the dinner table, telling each other jokes:

Saki: Knock Knock

Cecilia: Who's there?

Saki: Little old lady.

Cecilia: Little old lady who?

Saki: I didn't know you could yodel!

Cecilia: . . .That wasn't even funny

Saki: Okay, then. Knock knock

Cecilia: Who's there?

Saki: Banana!

Cecilia: Banana who?

Saki: Knock knock!

Cecilia, sighing: Who's there?

Saki: Banana!

Cecilia: I know this one already. That one isn't funny, either.

Damn you, auto correct!

Via text message between The Hubbin' and I:

Saki: I picked up cupcakes at Georgetown Cupcake today

Hubbin': Cool. Any new flavors?

Saki: PB swirl, caramel, and dysentery champagne.

Saki: Curses! Strawberry Champagne. I wouldn't feed you a dysentery cupcake. Not today anyway.

Go Saki, it's your birfday!

Cecilia: Mommy, do you have a birthday dress?

Saki: No, I don't think so.

Cecilia: Let's go look at your dresses

*as we flip through my closet*

Cecilia, slightly horrified: None of these are fancy.

Saki: I know. Mommy has boring dresses

Cecilia: I KNOW! How about your wedding dress? That is VERY fancy!